Getting engaged is a huge and exciting step in your relationship. You want your proposal to be perfect and memorable, but sometimes things can go wrong. Whether you’re organising a big surprise or a calm, private moment, steering clear of common and uncommon mistakes can help everything go smoothly.
In this blog post, I’m going to give you some simple advice on what not to do when planning your proposal. You and your partner can have a very special and memorable moment if you avoid these mistakes.
Not Having A Plan
When you don’t have a plan, things can easily go wrong. You can feel stressed and the excitement of the moment goes away. A clear plan helps you stay calm and focused. It also lets you manage details like where and when the proposal will happen, and any special touches you want to add. It’s much easier to handle unexpected issues if you have a plan in place. The last thing you want is to feel rushed or unorganised. If you want to know more, I have written a blog about how to plan a perfect proposal that you must read!
Not Knowing What Your Partner Prefers
The proposal is a moment that your partner will never forget. If you don’t take your partner’s likes and dislikes into account, you risk making the moment awkward or uncomfortable. For example, if your partner is shy and doesn’t like being the centre of attention at all, then proposing in a crowded place will only make them feel anxious and nervous, not happy.
Listen to what your partner talks about and take mental notes. They might drop hints about their favourite types of proposals and locations or share stories about romantic moments they’ve enjoyed. You could discuss future plans and dreams informally, without giving away your plans.
Also, think about their general preferences. Are they introverted or extroverted? Do they like surprises? Do they love big gestures or prefer quiet, intimate moments? This can help you with planning an ideal proposal.
Forgetting About Allergies Or Phobias
This may look like a tiny thing, but it really can affect how comfortable your proposal feels.
You don’t want to plan a romantic proposal in a garden full of flowers or with a bouquet if your partner has severe pollen allergies. If they have food allergies, skip the fancy restaurant that serves risky dishes. Perhaps you want to pop the question on a rooftop or during a hot air balloon ride, but your partner is afraid of heights. Similarly, if they have a fear of water, proposing on a boat might not be the best idea.
Any of these mistakes can make your magical moment uncomfortable or in the worst scenario, dangerous. For this reason, always keep your partner’s allergies and phobias in mind when planning your proposal.
Asking Your Partner To Do Her Nails
If you suddenly ask your partner to do her nails, she might start guessing why you’re making such a request. This can totally ruin the element of surprise, which is often the most exciting part of a proposal. On the contrary, if getting her nails done isn’t something she does regularly, your suggestion might appear suspicious.
As an alternative, if she has friends who like getting their nails done, you can ask them to invite her for a manicure as part of a fun day out. This way, it feels natural and not suspicious. Or perhaps, if you know she likes to have her nails done, check her schedule and plan the proposal around a time when her nails will likely be freshly done.
Not Being Yourself, Acting Suspicious
When you’re nervous about popping the big question, it’s easy to start acting in ways that aren’t true to who you are. If you’re acting unusually secretive or doing things that are out of character, your partner might start to suspect something is up. They might notice that you’re being extra careful with your phone, changing your routine, or acting nervous. This can create unnecessary stress and spoil the surprise.
Stick to your usual routines and behaviour. Sudden changes, like dressing up when you normally wouldn’t or being secretive about your plans, can raise red flags. Or maybe, if you’re usually casual and laid-back, don’t suddenly become overly formal or dramatic.
If you need to make arrangements for the proposal, do so discreetly. Don’t make obvious excuses or act secretive in ways that are unusual for you.
Choose a proposal plan that fits your personality. If you’re not comfortable with public speeches, don’t do it. Also, you don’t have to hide your feelings completely if you are a little excited or nervous. A simple explanation for any odd behaviour can help keep the surprise without making you seem suspicious.
Proposing At Someone Else’s Event
Think about being at a wedding, a birthday party, or any other special event that’s not yours. These celebrations are special for those who organise them. You can take their attention away from them if you propose during their celebration. They might feel like their party isn’t as important, and they might not like that. Your partner could also feel nervous or uncomfortable because the moment isn’t just about the two of you.
Besides, guests might feel confused or not know what to do. Should they be happy about your engagement or keep their attention on the main event? You can create here an awkward moment for everyone.
Proposing at someone else’s event means you can’t create a unique and personal moment just for you two. Your proposal should show your love story without blending it with someone else’s celebration. There are also other places that you should avoid that you can check here.
Forgetting To Capture The Moment
Photos and videos let you relive that special time anytime and share it with loved ones who couldn’t be there. If you can afford it, think about hiring a professional like a photographer or videographer. They know how to stay hidden while taking great pictures or videos without being intrusive. They can also operate a drone, which can capture unique and beautiful footage from above. If a professional isn’t an option, ask someone close to you to help and that your partner does not know.
If you want the proposal to be just the two of you, set up a hidden camera or smartphone on a tripod. Always test the equipment before the big day. Check the angles, lighting, and sound to make sure everything is set up correctly so you can capture the moment without being obvious.
Asking Your Friends To Capture The Moment
While it seems like a great idea, it can ruin the surprise because your partner could see them taking pictures or videos. Your partner might start to suspect that something is about to happen before you even get down on one knee, taking away the magic of the moment you’ve worked so hard to create.
Not Knowing What To Say
When you ask someone to marry you, the words you use can make the moment even more magical. It’s not only about asking “Will you marry me?”, but also about showing your love, your dreams for the future, and why you want to be with your partner forever. Otherwise, your speech may sound too impersonal. For this reason, take some time to think ahead about what to say, write it down and practice. Find here more tips and advice to make your proposal speech unforgettable.
Practicing A Long Speech
Long speeches can easily go wrong. You can forget what you want to say or mix up your words. Instead of enjoying the moment, you could get really worried about remembering everything. Your partner might get overwhelmed or even lose interest if you talk too much.
Instead, keep it short and simple. Focus on why you love them, why you want to spend your life with them and ask the big question. A few sentences from the heart can be more special than a long monologue.
Forgetting Or Losing The Ring
For many people, the ring is a symbol of love and commitment. Losing it or forgetting it can feel disappointing and may even influence how your partner feels about the proposal.
Before the special day, make sure you know where the ring is. Put it in a safe place where it won’t get lost until it’s time to propose. A small box or a special pocket is a good idea. Double-check you have the ring with you before leaving for the proposal location and hide it in a place where you won’t accidentally lose it. It might sound simple, but it’s easy to forget when you are very excited and nervous.
Don’t Hide The Ring In Your Pocket At The Airport
Airports have strict security checks. If you have the ring in your pocket when you go through the scanner, you’ll likely set off the alarm. This could lead to an awkward moment as you’re asked to empty your pockets, potentially spoiling the surprise in front of your partner and other travellers.
Instead, hide the ring in your carry-on bag. Just make sure it’s well-padded so it doesn’t get damaged. When you get to the security checkpoint, discreetly tell a security officer that you have an engagement ring and don’t want to spoil the surprise. They can guide you on the best way to keep it hidden.
Hiding The Ring In Food Or Drink
Hiding a ring in food or drink can be dangerous. Your partner might not see the ring and accidentally swallow or choke on it. This can make a happy time go fast into a scary one. On the other hand, they might instead chew on the ring or spit it out, which makes the proposal less romantic.
Food and drinks can damage the ring, especially if it’s delicate. Sticky, sugary, or acidic items can harm the metal and the gemstone, making the ring less beautiful. Also, the ring might not be clean and food particles can get stuck in it, making it less pleasant to wear right away.
Not Checking The Ring Size
Your partner will wear the engagement ring every day, so it needs to fit comfortably. Not checking the ring size can cause unnecessary stress and disappointment. Sometimes can happen that it’s either too tight to slide on or so loose that it might fall off.
To stop this from happening, try to find out your partner’s ring size before you get it. There are some easy ways to do it. If your partner wears a ring on their ring finger, you can use it to see the size. You can also ask their friends or family to help you. Or you can get a ring sizer and measure your partner’s finger secretly.
Choosing The Wrong Moment
Don’t propose when your partner is stressed, distracted, or not in a romantic mood. If they’re having a hard week at work or dealing with a family problem, it’s better to wait. Proposing during a disagreement or a sad day isn’t the best idea. Check out these times when you shouldn’t propose to your partner. You want a happy and loving time when both of you can fully enjoy the moment. Pick a moment when you’re both serene and enjoying being together.
Not Checking The Weather
Your engagement proposal is a once-in-a-lifetime event, so don’t let something as simple as the weather spoil it. Once you pick a date for your proposal, start looking at the weather forecast often. Websites and apps can give you a good idea of what to expect. But sometimes the weather can be surprising, so always have another plan. No matter what, be ready for anything.
Not Having A Backup Plan
Life is full of surprises. Having a backup plan means you’re ready for any unexpected surprises, and you can still make your proposal special and memorable.
You need to be prepared for weather changes, technical issues if your proposal involves special setup, unexpected disruptions of your proposal location, or any other interruptions that can affect your proposal.
Not Having A Post Proposal Plan
Many people get so focused on the proposal itself that they forget to plan what happens immediately after. Without a plan, you might end up feeling a bit lost or unprepared when the excitement is still high.
Plan something extra special after the proposal, like a romantic dinner or a fun activity you both love. Think about how you’ll share the big news with family and friends. Also, take some nice pictures together right after. If you don’t have a photographer, use your phone to capture the special moments.
Involving Pets Or Children Without Preparation
A lot of people like to include their pets or kids in their marriage proposals, and it can be a sweet idea. However, it’s very important to get them ready so everything goes well. Pets might get distracted or not do what you want, while kids might feel shy, fussy, or confused. Take time to train and practice with your pets, and make sure children know what to do and feel comfortable about that.
Don’t Propose Unless You Are Ready
Think about your future together. Do you both have similar life goals? Make sure you’re on the same path and that your future plans align. Never propose because you feel pressured by others or by time. This decision should come from your heart and be made because you truly want to. Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel quite right, it’s totally fine to wait. It’s better to take your time and be sure than to jump into something you’re not ready for. Check out these tips to help you decide if you’re ready to propose or not.
In short, asking someone to marry you is a big and exciting moment, so it’s very important to get it right. Your proposal can be awesome if you don’t make these mistakes. Just keep it simple and make it personal. All you need to do is plan well and take your time doing that.
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